Read this song at Thomas and Simons bathroom curtain:

Welcome to my world
Won't you come on in?
Miracles I guess,
Still happen now and then
Step into my heart
Leave your cares behind
Welcome to my world
Built with you in mind
Knock and the door will open
Seek and you will find
Ask and you'll be given
The key to this world of mineI
'll be waiting here
With my arms unfurled
Waiting just for you
Welcome to my world
~ song by Jim Reeves

a deja vu?
~~~~~

The fact that i am not in a slightest bit included to any of his plans makes me feel like _ _ _ _ _.
~~~~~
Dad's flying home tomorrow... i'm going to follow right? RIGHT?!

panay panay.. panay panay...

i won't let it be just a memory.

i love this street.

the party was last saturday, (the 16th), and yeah we had a great time.

mhaila finally showed herself, glowing.. (sure am glad she's baaaack!). Anyways, this girl evolved to a singing diva.. with her own magic mic.

can't believe i'm 22 already.. and there are (still) so many things to do, to achieve, to forget, to remember, to thank for, to praise, to swallow, to discuss, to share, to enjoy, to realize, to forgive, ........ and to treasure.

i'm so happy with you-know-who.

Thank you.

hmm. i'm 22, i've got ulcer and i love to cuddle a lot.

~~~
Riel turned 3 yesterday.

i'm so blog lazy

i'm 21 and i've got ulcer.

im so not good at dating.
.

changed my blog a bit.. still have to edit my links section.
.

my boss asked me to send 745 invitations today, my DNA scattered all over the world.. finnland to the virgin islands.. soon.. i will rule the world mwahahaha! . (i need sleep.)

i sure am glad i saw this in the Albertina last year..

how can someone steal a scream?

I was walking along the road with two friends.
The sun was setting.
I felt a breath of melancholy -
Suddenly the sky turned blood-red.
I stopped, and leaned against the railing, deathly tired -
looking out across the flaming clouds that hung like blood and a sword
over the blue-black fjord and town.
My friends walked on - I stood there, trembling with fear.
And I sensed a great, infinite scream pass through nature.

half week in review: Friday to Tuesday


the miracle: the boss complimented me for my work, (he even said thank you.. told hm about it, he just grunted (!) ) / the Christening, the Kodak Party with Baby Lorenzo (ang cute ng inaanak ko!!!), Reception à la Jet Lee/ coffee and Olympics with a fellow kumpare, the long walk home/ hm laughed about my whole relationship mess, hm in real shock after i told him about the art of making ligaw/ marvin told me i should change the way i dress, my hairstyle, my schedule (im a certified jerk magnet.... still, it sure as hell feels like sh*t)/ wasted a day with self-pity.


i miss mhaila.

reread my last post.. teka nga.. why did he pick me????

sus. the poor kid.

I saw myself today in a place i'll never forget, i finally found Viennas 'oasis'. (the websites nothing compared to the actual place)
Location: Viennas old stock stockmarket, below Tricaffé. (Schottenring 16, 1010 Vienna)

After picking up Karins bouquet, i wanted to look around and i bumped into Mark.
Mark was my first 'official' bf (nyarks.. ) we were together for a month, the most awkward relationship i ever had, awkward because, we were both young, stupid (i was.. still am?), and too giddy. We talked about our current situations, and i tried to avoid talking about the past, but he was persistent.. I can barely remember the day, but according to him it was me who gave him the fright of his life. 4 years ago, on a sunny July afternoon he found me in my own pool of blood. Until now, i cannot explain my actions then, my depression was so great, it made me blind and selfish. After that incident, we started avoiding each other, i tried to put my life back in track, piece by piece, and he kept himself busy, with work and school.

almost 4 years of absolute stillness between us, of course we heard the usual chikas about one another, but we never really took them seriously.

We talked, and our conversation maybe lots of things, but it wasnt awkward. It was open, real, and refreshing. I had one great day.

In the end, he went home to his wife, i went back to work with Karins bouquet... smiling. (at least, i was)

btw, i'm going to be Ninang to his baby =)

i don't really like myself right now.

i won't be seeing h. for two weeks.

no more whistling, swinging, red bull drinking, flirting (ha!), spinning the chair, hair sniffing, joking  around.. at work.

in short,  i need a vacation too.

this is my blog. memoirs of a gaga.

h. and i had a conversation at work that lasted 10 hours.  pure bliss. (i should stop enjoying fridays too much - too risky)
 
 
n. and i had a conversation that lasted an hour. shrewdness.  (why can't i just put the phone down? my own fault)
i need a vacation.
and thanks to sammy davis jr. and h. i need a dentist too:
 
The Candy Man
Who can take a sunrise
Sprinkle it with dew?
Cover it in chocolate
And a miracle or two
The candyman
The candyman can
The candyman can
Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
Who can take a rainbowWrap it in a sigh?
Soak it in the sun
And make a strawberry pie
The candyman
The candyman can
The candyman can
Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
The Candyman Can
Cause everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes!
Who can take tomorrow
Dip it in a dream?
Separate the sorrows
And collect up all the cream
The candyman
The Candyman can
The candyman can
The candyman can
Cause he mixes it with love
And makes the world taste good
And the world tastes good
Cause the Candyman thinks it should
Cause the Candyman thinks
Cause the Candyman thinks it should
 

im such a coward. backed out of something i know i'd enjoy in the end.
a wuss.
a sisi.
 
sorry you, maybe some other time... when we're not working for the same firm.
 
 
so this is me, at home on a friday night.... along came polly.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over time, I've building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
I've gone much too far for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away
Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day
And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me
Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I've sought can never be mine
And though you don't believe that they do
They do come trueFor did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me
And though the odds say improbable
What do they knowFor in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you
~~~
 
je suis triste.

i'm not going to delete my last post, to remind me NEVER to blog (or make a phone call) after 3 long island ice teas. so embarrassing (again)

helmut told me that i should not drown my mind with alcohol, since alcohol conserves. (after that, he offered me more 'sake' and sushi :) )

i'm flying home this december btw, me cant wait!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joy stayed with me a night --
Young and free and fair --
And in the morning light
He left me there.

Then Sorrow came to stay,
And lay upon my breast
He walked with me in the day.
And knew me best.

I'll never be a bride,
Nor yet celibate,
So I'm living now with Pride --
A cold bedmate.

He must not hear nor see,
Nor could he forgive
That Sorrow still visits me
Each day I live.

dorothy parker, light of love

kuya bhong and che's wedding!!!
hohummm!! kasal na sila... wooohoooooooooooooooooooooo!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
after almost 3 months of nothingness, my social life is back again.
had the most amazing time with my new colleagues: helmut, whew, we've got the same taste in music.. and more.. and more and more. k. kiss ( yep, i swear, thats her real surname..), rosa, the girl with the smile and fabio.. the nyc addict. first we went to mezcalitos, but the music was way too loud so we went to tgif instead.

met a certain waiter.. who was uhm, cute, i suppose. ok. so i flirted a bit tonight (he started it ha! wahehehe! oo noh! imagine that!) he asked for my number. (more details next time.. yeah you wish?!!!)

my shoe strap somehow broke, dont know how that happened, but they brought me home, ty helmut for that unforgettable car ride.. 5 people squeezed inside a tiny citroen. perfect way to end a delightful evening.

oh yeah. had 3 long island ice teas and i'm not proud about it. really im not, its been awhile since my last alc beverage and i feel numb. hope i can finally sleep better tonight.. if not then, i dont care.. i had a blast tonight. i love my colleagues.. (ok perhaps not 'some' of my bosses.. but thats alright, me still happy)

di ako lasing ha.

'i'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.'~~~

reasons why i still wake up every morning:

my Faith
my family
my friends
my job
my coffee
my books
my music
this city
all the people i left behind
my breath
my bath
my joy
my pride
.
.
.
.
.

so many things to thank for... and i'm not going to let him put me down. not again. i had a life before him.

'I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth'

ei guys! thank you for the support.. was a walking zombie for awhile.. but im back to life. tee hee!
(shopping na tayo :P?)

betrayed.
used.
....

but im the one whos paranoid eh?

ARE YOU F*CKIN' HAPPY NOW????!!!!!

Now,don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know it's just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don't care
...yeah ,yeah,yeah


Could you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you're happy now,ohhh,ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You, took all there was to take
And left me with the an empty plate
And you don't care about it,yeah
And I,am giving up this game
And leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care
....yeah,yeah,yeah


Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now,ohhh,ohhhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?,ohh,ohh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yah yah yah yah...

Do you really have everything you want?
You could never give something you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
Yah yah yah...

I am alone here in my own mind.
There is no map
and there is no road.

~~~~

guess what, for one whole month i've got nothing to do but study study study.

by the way, i've got another job, cool eh?

nur du liebst dich...

sorry, i'm kinda low today.. see, i worked really hard for this to work out, and i've desperately tried to patch things up... guess what? i've failed again.

it's so hard, coz its just not him and me... i fell in love with his family as well.

but i wont let him break me this time. genug davon


i'm single again, but then, i'm still (w)hole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So scream you, out from behind the bitter ache
Heavy on the memory, you need most
still want love, ugly, smooth and delicate
not without affection, not alone

And instead of wishing that it would all get better
man you're seeing that you just get angrier

And it's good that I'm not angry
I just need to get over,
I'm not angry, anymore

Cry when you cry, run when you run
love when you love
represent the ashes
that you leave behind

how could you..



where are you now?

ron, don't hurt anymore.. enough of that.

i'll miss you

I'm waiting for him right now..
he's having this job interview and i'm here to somehow support him.
After the fight last night.
here we go again.

Cross your fingers, he badly needs this right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've got the sweetest nephew.


Love my Riel.

looks like im going to her concert alone. (yes!! i am a fan.. see what homesickness does to a hibernating bear like me). but im sure dad will accompany me.... yes, another fan.

ok. allow me to be mushy again for a moment...




Every room you flooded with sun
Every frustration you turned around

Nordic noble
Your gentle goodness
Your untamed pride
Life isn't fair

Danced the movie
In a silver room
From a golden balcony
We stood in awe of eternity

Helplessly sunken, drunken
And everything was allowed
Together in time-lapse
Midsummer-Night's Dream

Your confident stride
Your true poetry
Your serene dignity
Your unshakeable grace

Your destiny
You defied
You never betrayed
Your plan for happiness

I'm not leaving here
I've extended my stay
New time travel
Open world

I have you safe
Inside my soul
I'll carry you with me
Until the curtain falls
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

another day.. another diet. hwek hwek hwek!